Things haven’t been very good of late. As a result, I have 3 reasons why my courage needs a boost. Read on.
I have been unable to update my blog.
This is not because I don’t have anything to say or write. I just feel swamped by the things that are happening in my life and there are times my courage is at its absolute lowest. Things seem to be going against me. But this doesn’t mean that there is nothing good happening.
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For starters, our weekly program is ongoing from Monday to Friday. This is a huge success which we are very proud of. Secondly, Bernardo Silva is going on with the mechanic training he signed up for. Lastly, one of our successful exceptional young men is back from college and wants to meet me.
“Hello, James,” he said over the phone, smiling. “My mom and I would like to invite you and Earnest to our home for a visit!”
“That’s good to hear,” I replied, not feeling really enthusiastic.
“Can you help me find a temporary job before I go back to college?” he asked.
“I can’t promise but let me see what I can do,” I replied.
After hanging up the phone I uttered a prayer. I sort of mumbled and hoped that God heard my fervent request. Why do I keep running into walls, I asked God. He didn’t reply. I swallowed my pain, picked my back pack and left the house. It was the first time I wasn’t able to use my bike.
Things are rapidly falling apart
The beginning of this year has been tough on my family. We thought that scaling down our household expenses was going to enable us raise additional funding for our prison program. Our hoke internet was the first expense to suffer.
However, I am learning that going to prison Monday through Friday every week is no joke. It is a feat that requires external funding and resources. Last month, a few of our friends contributed money that enabled us to pay our volunteer. Much as this is still a new month and I believe God is sending us help, there are times I despair.
It has gotten to a point where I am afraid of facing the exceptional young men that Lifesong Kenya empowers. What do I tell boys who need a man to hold their hands? How do I do it when I need courage and help during my most desperate moment?
These are nagging questions that I keep asking myself as I continue trusting God for a breakthrough. Much as I love and enjoy working with boys and exceptional young men, not having enough funding and resources affects me in ways that I cannot fathom or express. There are times I can’t or don’t know what to think.
There are times my prayers to bounce off the wall without reaching the heart of God. I know what the Bible says about helping those in need of justice. But there are times I hurt when I have to live on hand and mouth. In short, it is a labor of love that is weighing me down. Don’t get me wrong, working for 6 years without adequate resources and funding isn’t an easy thing to do.
3 reasons why my courage needs a boost
I recently attended a workshop organized by BAKE in conjunction with the Ministry of Environment. The workshop came at the right time when I needed a boost for my waning courage. I arrived and left the workshop with renewed hope of better things to come.
Since then, I have learned and gained more skills as an online writer. Here are the 3 things that have happened of late.
First, I have created an employment opportunity by leaving the shop int the hands of one of our exceptional young men. This gives me the opportunity to join Earnest in prison, continue looking for partners for Lifesong Kenya as well as grow my writing career.
This has enabled me to acquire new skills that will grow my skill set. By coaching boys to find clarity, I am finding my own value and purpose. I am coming to discover that when we provide an opportunity for others to grow, we also grow. Well, in my case, the growth may not be instant. These are the 3 reasons why my courage needs a boost.