Kaka is slow, clumsy and awkward. By reframing Kaka’s awkwardness, we are learning that Kaka’s slowness is not a deficit. It is a sign of an incredible human being who is capabe of nurturing life and everything he touches.
Kaka is slow. That much is evident.
There is no gentle way to say this, and Kaka himself would not want us to pretend otherwise. He finishes house chores way after everyone else has finished and moved on to other things. When others have swept the entire room, Kaka is still swinging the broom, one slow stroke after another. In a world that rewards speed, Kaka is an exception and a bother, when you think about it. And, in a culture where boys are constantly being compared with each other, Kaka will always lag behind. The only thing he will shine in is attracting redicule.
The trouble this brings is without doubt, predictable. Awkwardness attracts frustration from adults and shame from peers. Being reminded that you are always the ‘slow one’ and others using this to ridicule you leads to an erosion of confidence. With time, you start believing that you indeed clumsy and not deserving of anything good.
But here is what we have learned at Lifesong Kenya: slowness is not always a deficit. Sometimes it points to a mind that refuses to rush what matters. It is a sign that indicates that behind every slow action, there is an incredible human being who is good at showing care, love and nurturing life.
Reframing Clumsiness as Nurturing Life
At first, our staff shouted at Kaka and kept comparing him with other boys, at the Halfway House and in school. But, thanks to Co-Active model of coaching and leadership that we introduced into our work, we chose to do things differently. We stopped shouting at Kaka and comparing him with his peers. Instead, we started watching and observing.
What we saw changed our understanding of what it means to be slow, awkward and clumsy.
We learned that Kaka does not delay because he is distracted or doesn’t want to take full responsibility. Kaka delays because he is carefully planning his every move. Every move and action is deliberate and intentional. When Kaka waters a plant at our kitchen garden, he does not simply pour water—he assesses the soil, the light, the bees and butterflies that are buzzing around the garden. When he feeds our cats, he notices which cat ate and which did not. He also notices their moods, response and behaviour. When he tends to our dogs, he sees subtle changes in behavior that others completely miss.
Kaka is not clumsy, slow or awkward. He is careful, deliberate and a master at nurturing life. And in a world that breaks things constantly, carefulness is not a weakness. It is a rare and necessary strength, gift and superpower. It is an indicator of an individual who bears gifts that makes our world a better place.
An Opportunity to Nurture Life
We started giving Kaka an opportunity to thrive in his superpower. We tasked him with the responsibility of taking care of all living things at our Halfway House: the cats, the dogs and the plants. This was not as a punishment for slowness, but as a recognition of what we had observed in him.
Where others saw clumsiness, we saw a superpower in nurturing life.
Where others saw delay, we saw depth.
The results were immediate and striking, not only in his confidence but also in the animals and plants.
Under Kaka’s care, our flowers, tomatoes and vegetables started thriving. Our cats grew calmer while our dogs became more social. Every living thing at our Halfway House responded to Kaka’s attention because he was good at nurturing life. Kaka was not rushing through chores to tick boxes or move on to the next task. He was present with each living thing, fully immersed, in a way that fast workers rarely manage.
Lessons We’re Learning from Reframing Slowlessness
Kaka’s story teaches us something about individuals who we label as “slow” or “behind.” Often, people like Kaka are not less capable. They are differently capable because they process, nurture and take of chores, tasks and things differently.
The tragedy is not that these boys exist. The tragedy is that our systems—our schools, our homes, our programs—are built for speed, not for depth. We reward the fast finisher and punish the slow nurturer. We celebrate the boy who gets through tasks quickly and overlook the boy who gets through them completely.
At Lifesong Kenya, we are learning to build systems that honor both. We need fast workers and slow nurturers. We need boys who push through and boys who settle in. The key is matching the boy to the role that fits his nature, not forcing every boy into the same mold.
I would like to say a big thank you to Lifesong Kenya for helping me to see that being slow is a superpower and gift. My friends no longer laugh or make fun of me because I know I am gifted in nurturing life.
Kaka, Halfway House Beneficiary
Kaka’s Superpower
Kaka’s superpower is patience. Deliberate, intentional, life-giving patience.
It is the patience that waters a plant daily, even when growth is invisible. The patience that sits with a frightened cat until trust emerges. The patience that notices subtle changes others miss because they are rushing to the next thing.
This patience is not passive. It is active. It is a form of love that moves slowly because it moves completely.
Kaka wants to work with animals. Perhaps as a veterinary assistant. Perhaps in animal rescue. He wants a life where his slowness is not a flaw to overcome, but the entire job description for nurturing life.
We believe he will find it. Not because we taught him to be faster, but because we finally let him be fully himself.
For Parents, Guardians and Caregivers
If you have a child who is “slow,” consider these reframes:
- Is my child distracted, or are they processing things deeply?
- Am I rewarding speed, or am I rewarding completion?
- What environments allow my child to work at their natural pace?
- What tasks might suit my child’s deliberative style?
The boy who finishes last is not always the boy who finishes least. Sometimes, he is the boy who finishes best.
